Johnny and Bunny go to Scotland, and Johnny buys himself some haggis, causing problems when the Loch Ness Monster attempts to claim the dish for her own.

Johnny hits on a beautiful woman named Jane, who turns out to be a secret agent. When Johnny compromises security at Jane’s headquarters, her boss makes them work together to defeat the evil Dr. Pencilneck and thwart his nefarious–yet incredibly politically correct–scheme.

After winning a cruise on a boat, Johnny accidentally gets on the wrong boat. Here, Johnny meets Captain Spleen, who expects Johnny to catch a legendary bad-mouth merman named Moby Jerk.

Johnny accidentally joins the French Foreign Legion and soon finds himself on a game show in Ancient Egypt, where he must find a way through the desert with the help of a reluctant camel named Lawrence.

Suzy invites Johnny to her birthday party, but Johnny refuses. All of that changes when Johnny finds out that Farrah Fawcett, Suzy’s cousin, will be at the party.